Just Call Me Donley
I recently read yet one more newspaper article that referred to Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama instead of addressing them both as Senator. But this part really confused me: in the same article, the reporter called Geraldine Ferraro Ms. Ferraro.
Back in the day—when Ms. came into the language, it was meant to replace Mrs. and Miss with the understanding that men had only one title—that being Mr. So, the logic went, women should also have just one title—no need to differentiate their marital status. It supposedly made men and women equal in name.
Okay, so that historic moment when Ms. entered the language means nothing? It has been reduced to a shortened version of Miss? Isn’t that how people are using it now? Correct me if I am wrong. And when people call me Ms. Donley, are they are essentially assuming I am not married? But I am a married lesbian. Depending on geography, of course.
I try to get around this Mrs., Miss, Ms. dilemma with my students by asking them to call me Professor Donley even though technically I am Lecturer Donley. Maybe I should start telling students to address me as Lect. Donley or maybe just cut right to the chase and have them call me Les. Donley (short for Lesbian). Or wait—maybe ML. can be my new title (short for Married Lesbian.)
Or maybe it would be easier to just call me Donley.
Comments
I like it. JK and JD. We could start a Just Movement, so to speak.
:-)
Jan May 22, 09:38 am
Okay. I laughed, too. I’ve got to say that Jane is right: the choice of address that a person uses in referring to a woman basically reflects the addresser’s view of women. And if people ask me, I say “Ms.” even though I’m a Mrs. I, too, thought the reason for “Ms” was to get rid of the married/unmarried status question. It’s a shame that the press hasn’t embraced it. Ms. would become part of our cultural language must faster. My husband wondered aloud last night (surprisingly on this subject) about the Germans—how they can continue to use only Frau and Frauelein. It made me think. Even the progressive countries are still bound by many cultural conventions. How frustrating.
Rita Kniess Barkey May 22, 04:12 pm
Maybe the Germans are just practical enough to realize people won’t change so easily—why mess with tradition :-)?
That’s an interesting point about Frau/Fraulein. Maybe I’ll poll my students next semester and ask them if they know the history of Ms./Miss/Mrs. My guess is they don’t.
Jan May 22, 09:05 pm
Commenting is closed for this article.
They could call you Just Donley and you could still use same initials!
Jan, this made me laugh. I’ve encountered the same variation in how people address me. I often think it tells me more about the addresser than it does me, the addressee.
Just Kokernak ;-)
Jane Kokernak May 21, 03:47 pm